Watching One's Life Flash Before Your Eyes...It Really Can Happen!

quotes.cl

Like you, I have often heard a friend or co-worker say that their close call with some type of accident has caused them to see their life flash by in their head.  For the most part, I have always considered this more of an expression, a saying.  Not a reality.  Having had such an experience just two weeks ago, I can now attest to that very occurrence.  Mine was not a close call in an automobile accident.  Nor was it a near drowning experience.  Not an accident at all.  I was on the witness stand.

I have sat in that lonely chair before.  Couple of times actually.  Never any fun for fear that you will say something wrong or inappropriate.  Certainly do not want to lie when you sit in that chair after you have taken an oath of being honest.  I have testified at an Internal Revenue Service hearing.  As a Chief Executive Officer, I testified on behalf of our non-profit in a liability case.  I have given my testimony in a number of depositions but not these nor my court appearances gave me pause as much as my Family Court experience only a few weeks back.

flickr.com

Only being married one time and never all that curious about others who have experienced divorce, I was not concerned about the court proceedings.  My attorney prepped me for what to expect of the court action and how to answer his seven or eight questions.  I knew this proceeding was not going to be adversarial in nature and had little concern for it taking a turn unexpected. 

What I didn't expect was to take the witness stand and experience what can only be recalled as "watching one's life flash before their eyes".   It was an amazing experience.  It wasn't a near-death flash but rather a wonderful remembrance of what once was.   Thankfully, the answers my representation required of me were all affirmatives or negatives, no lengthy dissertations.

myspace.com

The first flash was when I saw her step from her car all the way back in the summer of 1971.  Those incredible legs.  Stuffing the soccer ball under her shirt.  The wedding.  The birth of three wonderful children.  The amazing vacation trips.  The mutual quests to stop smoking.  All of these and hundreds of other experiences we shared together over 22 years of a solid marriage.  The images were a collage of everything wonderful about our life together.  All in a matter of one minute while answering eight questions. 

Amazingly, not one of the negative experiences we shared surfaced during that flashback.  None of the guilt that I lived with for years reared its ugly head.  It was a surreal experience and one that I will always smile about.  The flash disappeared as I walked back to my courtroom seat.  Walking out of the courtroom, all the guilt, the anxiety and uncertainty walked hand in hand with me.  Karen Mathea Hawkins and I embraced and she told me "it's okay".  The guilt and anxiety are gone now but the uncertainty remains.  Where do I go from here?     

Overstuffed Bathing Suits - America's New War On Obesity

I would never want to be accused of being a "dirty old man" but living and working on the beach lends itself to casual observation of women in bathing suits.  Men too.  Every day from my beachside office I am confronted with men and women in all sorts of beach attire.  The parade of families on their way to the pools and ocean provides ample opportunity to view first-hand what has been hotly debated for months now, America's War On Obesity.

ibtimes.com

From my vantage point and daily viewing of the vacationing public, America has a serious obesity problem.  It spans all ages, economical groups, ethnic background and all the other politically correct designators of the American public.  The majority of folks I see are all carrying extra luggage and it isn't the kind you place on a luggage cart.  Some just need to shed 5-10 pounds but by the looks of the overstuffed bathing suits, many should get serious about their weight problem.

This past year has seen Michele Obama lead the charge on childhood obesity.  Her anti-childhood obesity program, "Let's Move", is in its first year and slow, incremental progress has been made.  Her many appearances and speeches have elevated the discussion to an entirely new level.  Her leadership has compelled grocers, food and beverage companies and schools to take a long hard look at how to combat obesity among our children.

mcntalk.com

Like every First Lady endeavor, there are critics from every corner including those that believe that government has no business dictating any personal choice issues.  However, the alarm bells are going off throughout the country about our young people and the obesity problem.  It is clear that we must take action to help young people make good personal choices about their nutrition, exercise and health.  The anti-smoking campaign that has been on-going for years has made a difference and one hopes that obesity education will have similar results.

It is estimated that 300 million people worldwide are obese.  One in five children are obese in the United States which calculates to 12 million children.  Excess weight is linked to all kinds of health issues including diabetes, heart disease and some cancers.  Any amount of weight loss, even small amounts help improve one's health.  Just this week, the American Medical Association announced that it supports annual educational instruction for public school children on obesity.

The AMA also reported that they support the idea of using revenue from taxes on sugar-sweetened sodas as one way to help pay for obesity-fighting education.  However, there is concern among some doctors that such a tax would be of a greater burden on the poor and disadvantaged.             

Americans in particular have become a sedentary bunch.   We sit in our chairs and recliners, eat chips, drink beer and eat fast-food out of convenience and necessity.  Our children follow our lead watching television, playing games on their game platforms and texting and talking on their cell phones.  Afternoon play has been relegated to television and games rather than outdoor adventure and activity. 

guardian.co.uk

Educational programs involving children encouraging healthy eating habits and good nutrition along with exercise and play is the beginning of turning around the obesity problem.  Making inroads in this one area of health will go a long way toward reducing our nation's long-term health care costs. 

Moving Forward ...Finally, It's True

trezzalaw.com

For longer than I care to admit, I have used the expression "moving forward" to describe the ending of a long-term relationship.  The words came easy to me and I really believed them.  Truth was and has been, that "moving forward" was a perpetual holding pattern.  Both parties of the relationship believed it was over long ago with no hopes of repair.  Both thought they were "moving forward" but instead it was postponing the messy, inevitable task of making it official. 

Regrets and apologies all around but finally "moving forward" is the phrase of the day.  After 18 years, not quite as long as the marriage itself, the day has come.  By all accounts, it is rather anti-climatic since both parties called it quits long ago.  Not sure how I should feel.  Others I have known have celebrated.  Others yet are relieved.  Some feel free and enabled to move forward.

There's that phrase again, "moving forward."  I have no plans to celebrate nor anyone to celebrate the occasion  with.  I am not particularly feeling relieved because I have not been stressed about it.  Feeling free and enabled; not sure I feel either of those feelings.  I have a feeling that Monday, June 11, 2012 will be like most Mondays.  Not all that exciting, not good or bad, just another Monday with a brief meeting in a courtroom. 

On the eve of the divorce decree, what I really am feeling is the satisfaction of at least knowing that finally, it's true, I am moving forward.  At least with this relationship.  There is a freedom that comes with the end of any long-term situation.  Whether a marriage, a job or any number of other situations one might think of. 

For me, it opens up opportunities to take some new steps.  I am foregoing the use of the phrase "moving forward" ever again.  It only got me in trouble.  Truth is, I have been taking new steps for many months now and this is only one of many "moving forward" moments I have come to achieve.  I have written much about my "Renaissance" as a soon-to-be 60 year-old. 

The divorce is a key moment though.  Although anti-climatic for me on some levels, it fulfills one step among many that I am on task to complete.  Unlike many in my situation with the ending of such a long relationship, I am happy to say that ours is one that will continue in a positive, new fashion.  All the better for both of us as we go about our separate lives. 

Thankfully, for me "moving forward" is over and done with and now it is all about moving ahead.         

Potty Mouth - A Fine Example!

flappinessis.com

I learned years ago not to allow myself to be surprised at anything I might experience or have to respond to in the business of hospitality.  Yet, it seems few days go by where I am not shaking my head in disbelief or disappointed in how people behave and act.  This past Saturday night was one more experience in a long line of them with the public that gave me reason to shake my head and just be disappointed.

I was informed by our security staff that I had a guest that was unhappy with their accommodations, specifically the sleeper sofa in their unit.  The hour was late, nearly 11:30 pm when I arrived at the unit.  Immediately upon entering, it was clear to me that it was not going to be a positive experience.  It was a family of seven, Mom and Dad and five young children, ages 3 to 14. 

The lady, I use the term loosely, immediately started going off.  Dropping F-bombs and every other expletive to describe her room and experience thus far at our resort.  It wasn't that she was using words that I had not heard or from time to time, have used myself.  It was all about the fact that her five young children were right there in the unit and all within earshot.  It was amazing how little I heard of what she was actually saying as I was embarrassed to be in the presence of children while such words were being shouted at me. 

I recognize that I grew up in a home where such words were not used by my parents or my two older brothers.  At least not in my company and certainly never in the presence of my mother and father.  I was 16 years old when I heard my father say "damn" for the first time.  It  was directed at me as he used the word as an adjective saying, "Get your damn feet off that pillar."  I remember the experience as if it was yesterday.  Having never heard my father speak in such a demonstrative way, my feet were on the porch in a heartbeat. 

I have had many people over the years swear at me with regard to how I have responded to their problems or issues.  I have never enjoyed the experience and frankly take little heed to it.  I find it much more difficult to deal with the courteous guest who is upset but allow their articulation and use of the English language as a tool to effectively communicate their disappointment.  These educated individuals can make you feel about as bad as it can get.  People yelling obscenities at you have hardly no effect. 

This Mom effectively communicated to her five children that it is okay to use inappropriate language and yell at the top of your lungs at a complete stranger.  These five children now know it is okay by Mom's standards to respond to anyone in customer service with obscenities and yelling.  A real class act she was.  For my part, I mostly kept my mouth shut and allowed her to vent.   I did find her language and yelling objectionable and made a point to let her know that not only it was inappropriate to speak in such a fashion in front of young children but inappropriate to speak in such a fashion to anyone. 

Needless to say, my words were falling on deaf ears as she told me to F-bomb myself as I departed the unit.  I am reminded almost daily of how fortunate I was to have grown up in a home where my parents treated others with respect and dignity.   Even when they were unhappy, they never yelled and screamed, shouted obscenities or tried to make someone feel less than what they were.  Thank God for Mom and Dad and their modeling of appropriate and respectful adult behavior.    

Growing Up With March Madness

springfieldnewssun.com

One of my fondest memories of childhood is sitting on the couch listening on radio to the University of Dayton Flyers play college basketball with my Mom and Dad.  I would pull out my clipboard and create my very own scorebook keeping track of each players statistics during the game.  Popcorn would be enjoyed and anxious moments would always occur if the Flyers were having a rough time of it.  If the Flyers were home, we would always attend the games but when they were on the road, we all sat by the radio and listened.

Following the likes of Donnie May, Hank Finkel, Dan Sadler, Bucky Bockhorn and scores of other Flyer greats was always a highlight during basketball season.  Growing up in a basketball family, conversation was always about the game.  Both Mom and Dad played college basketball in the 1940's while attending Ohio Northern University.  My two brothers played and of course I played when it came to be my time.  My father coached high school basketball before he launched his business career and actually took a very small high school basketball team to the state championship in the State of Ohio.  My oldest brother, Jim, followed in Dad's footsteps and coached college basketball for 25 years retiring only to enjoy coaching high school basketball in the State of Ohio for the last ten years. 

March was always special for our family.  Dayton was generally competing for a at-large berth in the NCAA tournament as they were an independent during those years.  More often than not, they would be invited to the NIT in New York at Madison Square Garden.  During and beyond my college years, my college roommate and I traveled to NIT games watching the Flyers take on teams like Purdue, St. Johns and Wisconsin.  Our road trips were always a highlight of the year. 

The magical year of 1966 saw the Dayton Flyers make the NCAA tournament as a major underdog.  The Flyers that year went on a great tournament run beating Western Kentucky, Tennessee and North Carolina making the Championship Game against Johnny Wooden's UCLA Bruins.  The flyers played well for half the game with Lew Alcindor (Kareem Abdul Jabbar) and his teammates destroying us in the second half.  It was a spectacular game for the little catholic school from Dayton, Ohio.

Two years later, magic returned after a very difficult and disappointing start of the season.  The Flyers started out losing game after game.  Couldn't win one against anyone.  Then all of a sudden, the Flyers went on a winning streak ending with 19 wins for the season.  Everyone was hoping for an NCAA bid but we fell short and were invited to the NIT.  Not given much of a chance, the Flyers once again went on a roll and played great tournament basketball ending up in the Championship Game as the Kansas Jayhawks. 

That Kansas team had a pretty special player by the name of Jo Jo White.  White was an All-American and went on to the NBA playing for the Boston Celtics for years.  The Flyers had All-American Donnie May.  The game was back and forth, back and forth with leads changing hands all game long.  In the end, the Flyers had enough to bring home the championship to Dayton. 

One of the not so fond memories was the night the Flyers returned to Dayton as champions.  A friend of mine and I waited at the University of Dayton Field House for their return.  Unfortunately, they did not arrive until the wee hours of the morning.  Mom was waiting for me when I returned home well after midnight.  She was not in a celebratory mood.  Nevertheless, it was a terrific night welcoming home the players that brought home a championship to my city. 

March has always been filled with magical moments for fans across the nation.  The game has changed over the years.  The tournament has changed significantly.  What hasn't changed is the joy and disappointment that comes to each of us this time of year as we watch our favorite team perform.  Good luck to you and your team as we enter March Madness. 

Me, Myself And I, An Online Presence

panaceamobile.com

For some time now, I have been writing about this sixtieth year of mine as a renaissance year.  As each week passes into this New Year, I am amazed at how little I know about the world I am living in today.  I have generally felt that I am a well-informed, connected and educated adult who has a pretty good understanding of how things work.  That feeling of self-assuredness continues to be challenged almost daily.  I'm speaking of how the online world and the social aspect of it can impact your life should you choose to embrace it. 

For those of us who grew up with transistor radios and hula hoops, there is no doubt we are reluctant to embrace today's social media.  It is very foreign to us as it requires some real effort and even more importantly the element of time.  We are less nimble when it comes to navigating today's technology.   Most of us utilize only a minute percentage of our cell phone or laptop capability and are okay with it.  We are all amazed at the capability but hesitate to dive in and immerse ourselves in learning more. 

For me, the process of learning all about this technology and information has been a challenge.  It continues to challenge me day in and day out.  There has not been one day in the last three months where I have not learned something new that has changed how I look at things.  Truth of the matter, I am still reluctant to embrace it for fear that I am going to do something or say something stupid.  It's just not about navigating the web or the technology, learning Facebook or Twitter or any number of other sites, it's learning a whole new way of looking at things.

This learning a whole new way of looking at things is difficult.   As we would all agree, change is hard.  We are a comfortable people and change is not something that most of us embrace with regard to anything.  However, I have made a conscious effort to keep an open mind and allow my learning to take me wherever it chooses.  Once again, I have to remind myself of this each and every day as a new idea, thought, process or capability makes itself known to me. 

I am not confident that even the majority of young people know what is possible and what is at their fingertips.  My most recent efforts online are all about creating my own personal brand.  Not even something I would have ever considered.  As I thought about it, for my generation, branding would be considered what our personal reputation and character is.  As I have read more and more about online presence, that is indeed what branding is about. 

I am now in the process of taking that reputation and character I have lived with and developed over the years and create the same with my online presence.  It is certainly an interesting and challenging task for one who has already been in the workplace for 40 years.  However, for a young person like so many of today's youth, creating such a brand as you learn, grow and experience life, work and family, it should come naturally.  Almost a resume of one's life.  I'm having fun with it and actually will be encouraging my three adult children to create their online presence through appropriate branding techniques.      

The real question for me will soon become what my personal branding slogan will be.  "Just Do It" is taken; so is "Winston tastes good like a cigarette should" as well as thousands of others.  I remember creating slogans many times over the years for capital campaigns, advertising campaigns and special events I was creating within the YMCA.  My all time favorite was "Discover The Difference" when I was at YMCA Camps Ockanickon and Matollionequay in Medford, New Jersey.  That slogan actually has been used since by several national corporations I'm proud to say.  (Not that they ever saw my use of it) 

How does one encapsulate 60 years in a brief phrase.  Being the wordsmith I am, I am confident it will come my way sometime in the near future.   Count on me writing about it. 

"Halftime In America - Clint Backlash

thefw.com

After watching the Super Bowl on Sunday and the many commercials, the one that stood out for me was Chrysler’s message of hope.  Employing the iconic figure of Clint Eastwood drove home a powerful and inspiring message for the American people.  After seeing the commercial, the first thing that came to mind for me was that the Republican Party would be upset.  As expected, it didn’t take long for Karl Rove to denounce Chrysler’s message and Eastwood for delivering it.  There is no question that the message mirrored much of what President Obama has delivered across the nation.  It’s a message of hope, determination and confidence.  Just what I think we need as a nation.    

Chrysler’s message was a powerful one.  It was heartfelt and I think appropriate.  It spoke of us coming together, working together, overcoming the odds and turning America around. It was far and away the best commercial of Super Bowl Sunday.   Both Chrysler and Eastwood indicated that there was no connection to any political party or political message.  It was intended to be non-political.  It was a commercial that celebrated Detroit’s rebirth with the reemergence of the automobile industry. 

Eastwood’s script included, “They almost lost everything.   But we all pulled together, now Motor City is fighting again.  Yeah, it’s halftime, America.  And our second half’s about to begin.”  It was a powerful, inspiring message for all Americans wanting our nation to succeed.  The message delivered by someone who is truly an American icon.  Eastwood said, “If Obama or any other politician want to run with the spirit of that ad, go for it.”  Sounds like something he would say in one of his films.  I must admit that I loved it. 

Many years ago, Hollywood stars took to the screen frequently during World War II to support war efforts, workers making products here at home and  families sacrificing.  The message of hope and determination delivered then is similar to what Chrysler and Eastwood was doing with this year’s Super Bowl ad.   The reemergence of Detroit’s car industry is a huge win for America.  It needs to be celebrated no matter whether you supported the President for choosing to bailout the car industry or not.  It was a great win for America.   The jobs saved and created was a big deal.  One of America’s great recession stories. 

I would like to see more of the same.  These stories are inspiring for the American people and when times are tough, it’s great to see one of our heroes, stars, sports figures or other legendary figure speak out and say we can persevere, we can turn it around, we are America.