Moving Forward ...Finally, It's True

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For longer than I care to admit, I have used the expression "moving forward" to describe the ending of a long-term relationship.  The words came easy to me and I really believed them.  Truth was and has been, that "moving forward" was a perpetual holding pattern.  Both parties of the relationship believed it was over long ago with no hopes of repair.  Both thought they were "moving forward" but instead it was postponing the messy, inevitable task of making it official. 

Regrets and apologies all around but finally "moving forward" is the phrase of the day.  After 18 years, not quite as long as the marriage itself, the day has come.  By all accounts, it is rather anti-climatic since both parties called it quits long ago.  Not sure how I should feel.  Others I have known have celebrated.  Others yet are relieved.  Some feel free and enabled to move forward.

There's that phrase again, "moving forward."  I have no plans to celebrate nor anyone to celebrate the occasion  with.  I am not particularly feeling relieved because I have not been stressed about it.  Feeling free and enabled; not sure I feel either of those feelings.  I have a feeling that Monday, June 11, 2012 will be like most Mondays.  Not all that exciting, not good or bad, just another Monday with a brief meeting in a courtroom. 

On the eve of the divorce decree, what I really am feeling is the satisfaction of at least knowing that finally, it's true, I am moving forward.  At least with this relationship.  There is a freedom that comes with the end of any long-term situation.  Whether a marriage, a job or any number of other situations one might think of. 

For me, it opens up opportunities to take some new steps.  I am foregoing the use of the phrase "moving forward" ever again.  It only got me in trouble.  Truth is, I have been taking new steps for many months now and this is only one of many "moving forward" moments I have come to achieve.  I have written much about my "Renaissance" as a soon-to-be 60 year-old. 

The divorce is a key moment though.  Although anti-climatic for me on some levels, it fulfills one step among many that I am on task to complete.  Unlike many in my situation with the ending of such a long relationship, I am happy to say that ours is one that will continue in a positive, new fashion.  All the better for both of us as we go about our separate lives. 

Thankfully, for me "moving forward" is over and done with and now it is all about moving ahead.