A Thanksgiving Alone

We have all sung the song, "Over the hills and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go".  At Thanksgiving, this song always comes to mind for some reason.  I imagine my mother used to sing the song to her three boys when we were young and making the annual pilgrimage to little Dola, Ohio for Thanksgiving dinner.  Going to Grandma's house at Thanksgiving is a tradition for most American families.  Of course, at some point, it becomes picking up Grandma and bringing her home to your house where someone younger can handle the stress and complexity of cooking for the whole clan of family members. 

I remember fondly those early years of going to Grandma's house.  It was always pretty special.  I can even remember as a child the year we broke down on the road and someone helped us fix our car so that we could continue the trip.  As I had my own children, I remember fondly taking my children to my mother's house, their grandmother's house, for the Thanksgiving feast.  We would generally get to both our parents homes on Thanksgiving Day and actually have two meals.  One would always be the traditional turkey dinner and other would be a Leg of Lamb dinner.  Both were wonderful and delicious. 

My mother and I were reminiscing about these experiences on the phone earlier this afternoon when she told that this would be her fourth consecutive year of not being with family on Thanksgiving Day.  I was stunned.  I absolutely felt awful and so very guilty.  She said she had come to terms with it.  That's Grandma code for she is not happy about it at all.  My mother is 91 years old.  How many more Thanksgiving dinners will there be for her and for any of her family spending time with her.  Amazing how we forget what's important in this life.    

Being 12 hours away is hardly an excuse for me.   For a few moments, I considered getting in my car and making the drive non-stop all the way to Ohio.  Had I not already committed to working I would have made the trip.  Once again, allowing work to interfere with what is most important.  This lesson of balancing my life with work is still a project that needs more self-discipline.  What have I been thinking all these years not to be making a special effort every year to get home and spend time with my mother around the holidays.  I was there last year the week before Thanksgiving.  That was a very special trip and one that I will always hold dear.     

My mother is still teaching me life's lessons as I approach 60 years of age.  She understood why I was unable to come home.  She wasn't disappointed in me for not being able to make the trip.  It was I who felt guilty and ashamed.  My mother  tops the list of people I am very thankful for on this most wonderful holiday of the year.  She is always there for me.  A kind heart, a caring voice and a listening ear.  All of the most important things you need from your Mom.  If only I could be more of the same to her as a son as she is to me as a mother.    

Happy Thanksgiving Mom.